Sabtu, 31 Januari 2015

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Leadership Without Easy Answers, by Ronald Heifetz


The economy uncertain, education in decline, cities under siege, crime and poverty spiraling upward, international relations roiling: we look to leaders for solutions, and when they don't deliver, we simply add their failure to our list of woes. In doing do, we do them and ourselves a grave disservice. We are indeed facing an unprecedented crisis of leadership, Ronald Heifetz avows, but it stems as much from our demands and expectations as from any leader's inability to meet them. His book gets at both of these problems, offering a practical approach to leadership for those who lead as well as those who look to them for answers. Fitting the theory and practice of leadership to our extraordinary times, the book promotes a new social contract, a revitalization of our civic life just when we most need it.




Drawing on a dozen years of research among managers, officers, and politicians in the public realm and the private sector, among the nonprofits, and in teaching, Heifetz presents clear, concrete prescriptions for anyone who needs to take the lead in almost any situation, under almost any organizational conditions, no matter who is in charge, His strategy applies not only to people at the top but also to those who must lead without authority--activists as well as presidents, managers as well as workers on the front line.

  • Sales Rank: #26395 in Books
  • Published on: 1998-07-22
  • Released on: 1998-08-21
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.25" h x .87" w x 6.12" l, 1.38 pounds
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 348 pages

From Library Journal
Heifetz (Kennedy Sch. of Government, Harvard Univ.) presents a new theory of leadership for both public and private leaders in tackling complex contemporary problems. Central to his theory is the distinction between routine technical problems, which can be solved through expertise, and adaptive problems, such as crime, poverty, and educational reform, which require innovative approaches, including consideration of values. Four major strategies of leadership are identified: to approach problems as adaptive challenges by diagnosing the situation in light of the values involved and avoiding authoritative solutions, to regulate the level of stress caused by confronting issues, to focus on relevant issues, and to shift responsibility for problems from the leader to all the primary stakeholders. The theory is applied to an analysis of historical accounts of local, national, and international events. An innovative and thoroughgoing work; highly recommmended for graduate and undergraduate collections.
Jane M. Kathman, Coll. of St. Benedict Lib., St. Joseph, Minn.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review
Leadership Without Easy Answers is a masterwork of great subtlety, and of punch and practicality. Leadership is not value-free, Mr. Heifetz writes...[The author puts] soul and values squarely back into a vital topic, leadership. (Tom Peters New York Times Book Review)

Ronald Heifetz brings knowledge of an astonishingly wide range of disciplines to this study of leadership...As a musician, a cellist, he understands that the quality of a performance depends on the audience as well as on the instrumentalist...As a psychiatrist, Heifetz understands that communities cannot be pushed beyond their capacity to adapt...These insights give to Heifetz's book an originality and vivacity one rarely associates with studies on leadership. He illustrates his theses with an extraordinary range of cases and examples...Leadership Without Easy Answers reminds us of democracy's rich potential. It is a bold book and an encouraging one. I hope some of our leaders are out there learning. (Shirley Williams Times Higher Education Supplement)

This pioneering study constitutes one of the most insightful and innovative approaches to leadership studies in over a decade...Heifetz masterfully presents his new leadership model by intertwining general theory and prescriptive practical guidance through fertile historical and work-place case studies. Heifetz's goal is nothing less than a summoning for a new social contract that seeks to revitalize America's civic ethos by adopting leadership strategies to empower the citizenry rather than to merely enhance the authority of the leader...The upshot of this study should place it in the front line in leadership historiography for years to come. (R. J. Lettieri Choice)

Heifetz presents a new theory of leadership for both public and private leaders in tackling complex contemporary problems. Central to his theory is the distinction between routine technical problems, which can be solved through expertise, and adaptive problems, such as crime, poverty, and educational reform, which require innovative approaches, including consideration of values. Four major strategies of leadership are identified: to approach problems as adaptive challenges by diagnosing the situation in light of the values involved and avoiding authoritative solutions, to regulate the level of stress caused by confronting issues, and to shift responsibility for problems from the leader to all the primary stakeholders. The theory is applied to an analysis of historical accounts of local, national, and international events. An innovative and thoroughgoing work; highly recommended. (Library Journal)

Ronald Heifetz has written an interesting and timely book, in which he moves away from the idea of leaders as visionaries and saviors to stressing leadership as an activity as opposed to a position of authority or a set of personal charcateristics. (Robert Hooijberg Journal of Leadership Studies)

A superb book for any age, but particularly for our current one, where society is so desperately in need of its wisdom and expertise. Leadership without Easy Answers should be required reading for top managers in all sectors--private, public, and nonprofit. I hope it will also be widely read by the citizenry that is so much in need of an attitude shift on the nature of authority. This book is also very much about citizenship. (M. Scott Peck, Author of The Road Less Traveled)

Alive with insights, concepts, new ideas, just teeming with the kind of creative approach to the study of leadership that I and of course many others esteem. In a field in which there has been a great deal of repetitious work, Heifetz strikes out in ground-breaking directions. (James MacGregor Burns, Author of Leadership)

Remarkably thoughtful, provocative, and useful. This book will be seen as a major contribution that provides a rare interdisciplinary view of leadership in context. Leaders as well as serious students of the process of leadership and the development of leaders need to have this book on their shelves. (General Walter Ulmer, U. S. Army (Ret.), President and CEO, Center for Creative Leadership, Greensboro, North Carolina)

Heifetz turns out to be one of the most thoughtful scholars on leadership. His direct and relevant concepts are pathbreaking. (James David Barber, Author of Presidential Character)

Original and penetrating in its analysis of leadership. This is an excellent book. Important and valuable. (John Gardner, former Secretary HEW, Founder of Common Cause)

Leadership without Easy Answers should go a long way toward clearing up many confusions about leadership. Long a master teacher of leaders, Heifetz's courses and Harvard's Kennedy School of Government have been standing-room only for years. Read this book and see why. (Peter Senge, author of The Fifth Discipline)

From the Back Cover
The economy uncertain, education in decline, cities under siege, crime and poverty spiraling upward, international relations roiling: we look to leaders for solutions, and when they don't deliver, we simply add their failure to our list of woes. In doing so, we do them and ourselves a grave disservice. We are indeed facing an unprecedented crisis of leadership, Ronald Heifetz avows, but it stems as much from our demands and expectations as from any leader's inability to meet them. His book gets at both of these problems, offering a practical approach to leadership for those who lead as well as those who look to them for answers. Fitting the theory and practice of leadership to our extraordinary times, the book promotes a new social contract, a revitalization of our civic life just when we most desperately need it. Drawing on a dozen years of research among managers, officers, and politicians in the public realm and the private sector, among the nonprofits, and in teaching, Heifetz presents clear, concrete prescriptions for anyone who needs to take the lead in almost any situation, under almost any organizational conditions, no matter who's in charge. His strategy of leadership applies not only to people at the top but also to those who must lead without authority - activists as well as presidents, managers as well as workers on the frontline. Here are Lyndon Johnson, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mahatma Gandhi, in triumph and in tragedy. Here too are military officers and soldiers, doctors and patients, college students, and local civic groups. Sketched with precision, touched by empathy, and unfailingly interesting, this cast of characters brings Heifetz's theory to life, demonstratingwhat a practitioner can do - or avoid doing - to assume leadership in an age without easy answers.

Most helpful customer reviews

66 of 68 people found the following review helpful.
Not Just Another LEadership Fad Book
By JB
If you're tired of the quick leadership fad books (10 steps to becoming a great leader, Leadership Lessons of So and So, etc) then this book is for you. We all take it for granted that we know what Leadership is. Heifetz does an excellent job of questioning our traditional assumptions of leadership by making a distinction between leadership and positions of authority. Too often we mistaken positions of authority as being leaders but in reality we all know many people who are leaders who aren't in positions of authority as well as people who are in positions of authority that we would never consider to be leaders.
Authority is confered power to perform a service - it's an expectation or a series of expectations. In this way, authority can be given and taken away. Heifetz describes two different kinds of authority: formal and informal. Formal authority is given to a person through a contract, job description, legislation, etc. Informal authority is given or taken away by the community to the person in authority - often its unspoken expecations. You can see this interaction all the time - for instance a teacher has the formal authority to instruct the class but students may not give the teacher the authority (informal) to do that and will not pay attention. Often you have to increase your informal authority in order to exercise your formal authority. In the work place you can see this play out too where a person may have positional authority but the subordinates don't respect that authority.
Heifetz explores leadership with a number of psychology tools. For instance, he makes constant reference to a "holding environment" which has it orgins in psychoanalysis. A holding environment consists of any relationship in which one party has the power to hold the attention of another party and facilitate adaptive work.
This is crucial in Heifetz's view of leadership in that a leader is someone who mobilizes a person or community to confront difficult issues/problems and to determine solutions. Often, people or a community will look to the leader to solve a problem but rarely are clear answers and solutions available. A leader must facilitate the community wrestling with the deeper issues rather than just simply trying to fix everything with simple answers. The issue of violence in schools is an example. While people look to positions of authority to solve the problem through gun control, school safety programs, etc. - those are all technical answers for something that is truly an adaptive problem for the community. It is a challenge to have the community question its own attitudes, actions, behavior, or beliefs.
Heifetz uses the rest of the book to describe adaptive leadership with examples ranging from civil rights to political decisions leading to war. It is an amazing exploration of leadership with Heifetz articulating different aspects of leadership that haven't been described before.
Again, this is not a step by step approach to leadership, but rather taking a step back and asking ourselves just what is leadership, what role does it play in society, what role should it play, and why are people resistant to it at times. From this understanding, you'll be better able to determine your own leadership strategies.

48 of 51 people found the following review helpful.
The best book on leadership theory around...
By Stephen Armstrong
I do not want to repeat what the above Amazon reviewers have already said. Nevertheless, I think Heifetz's Leadership Without Easy Answers is the best book on the modern theory of leadership around.
Heifetz integrates "great man/great woman" (trait) theories of leadership with "great times" (situational) theories, and defines "leadership" as "an activity that fosters adaptive work and addresses the value conflicts that people hold." He distinguishes "technical" problems that may not require leadership (adaptive work) from "adaptive problems" which people experience as threatening to themselves or their group. (The conflict over abortion, for instance, can be seen as an adaptive problem, because it represents a value conflict that provokes work-avoidance--scapegoating, dishonesty, polarizing conversations, etc.)
Heifetz sees leadership as being "practical" and "authentic", and the leader is always working towards using authority (formal and informal) to help members of contesting groups arrive at solutions that promote fundamental values (such as democracy, equality before the law, freedom).
This book is not a "how-to" book and does not promote charismatic leadership (which the author would view as largely work-avoidance and dependency-fostering). Heifetz is an excellent writer and communicates well with both academics and interested citizens.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
It was a textbook for class. I wasn't a ...
By Emily W.
It was a textbook for class. I wasn't a fan of what Heifetz had to say about leadership, but that's a personal issue. The book was well written and laid out appropriately.

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Jumat, 30 Januari 2015

[E550.Ebook] Download The Story of Vermont: A Natural and Cultural History, Second Edition, by Christopher McGrory Klyza, Stephen C. Trombulak

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The Story of Vermont: A Natural and Cultural History, Second Edition, by Christopher McGrory Klyza, Stephen C. Trombulak

In this second edition of their classic text, Klyza and Trombulak use the lens of interconnectedness to examine the geological, ecological, and cultural forces that came together to produce contemporary Vermont. They assess the changing landscape and its inhabitants from its pre-human evolution up to the present, with special focus on forests, open terrestrial habitats, and the aquatic environment. This edition features a new chapter covering from 1995 to 2013 and a thoroughly revised chapter on the futures of Vermont, which include discussions of Tropical Storm Irene, climate change, eco-regional planning, and the resurgence of interest in local food and energy production. Integrating key themes of ecological change into a historical narrative, this book imparts specific information about Vermont, speculates on its future, and fosters an appreciation of the complex synergy of forces that shaped this region.

This volume will interest scholars, students, and Vermonters intrigued by the state’s long-term natural and human history.

  • Sales Rank: #705740 in Books
  • Published on: 2015-01-06
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.70" h x .70" w x 5.20" l, .0 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 256 pages

Review
“There is much to be proud of in our state’s natural and cultural histories, not the least of which is the fact that they can inspire thoughtful and engaging works such as The Story of Vermont.”—Vermont History

“I appreciated the long scope of history The Story of Vermont covered and the intricacies of rural development it chronicles. It isn’t something to take to read on a beach on Lake Champlain, unless you want to know more about the lamprey that latch onto the fish there. So, maybe you should tuck it into your bag after all.” —North Country Public Radio

About the Author
CHRISTOPHER MCGRORY KLYZA is Stafford Professor of Public Policy, Political Science, and Environmental Studies, Middlebury College. His most recent book, co-authored with David J. Sousa, is American Environmental Policy: Beyond Gridlock. STEPHEN C. TROMBULAK is professor of environmental and biosphere studies, Middlebury College. His most recent book, co-edited with Robert Baldwin, is Landscape-scale Conservation Planning.

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Senin, 12 Januari 2015

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  • Sales Rank: #5590281 in Books
  • Brand: Brand:
  • Published on: 2002
  • Format: Audiobook
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Minggu, 11 Januari 2015

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The Iron Woman, by Margaret Deland

The Iron Woman is a novel of manners by the American writer Margaret Deland (1857–1945) set in the 19th century fictional locale of Mercer, an Ohio River community that represents Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The novel tells the story of Mrs. Maitland, a leathery old widow who owns and operates an iron mill. Her devotion to a Puritanical work ethic alienates her son Blair, who though he stands to inherit the business, is headstrong and in love with Elizabeth Ferguson, a match Mrs. Maitland disapproves of.

  • Published on: 2015-09-01
  • Original language: English
  • Dimensions: 9.00" h x .70" w x 6.00" l,
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 310 pages

About the Author
Margaret Deland (n̩e Margaretta Wade Campbell) (February 23, 1857 РJanuary 13, 1945) was an American novelist, short story writer, and poet. She also wrote an autobiography in two volumes. She is generally considered part of the literary realism movement.

Most helpful customer reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Well written, a Must Read
By Bill
This historical novel has characters that are very real, who could all be placed in a modern day setting. Three families with four children, trying to raise them the best they know how. How much does a career mother influence her children in regards to love and work? Does a child miss something in a mother if he is adopted? How should faults and forgiveness be accepted? This book raises many questions pertinent to today, without giving all the answers. Exceptionally well written.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Four Stars
By MaryJane K.
Nice resource for a variety of information - touches on lots of different areas.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
but it is a rare good book For those whom are interested in this topic ...
By Amazon Customer
This is the first time I've actually taken the time to write out a review.but it is a rare good book For those whom are interested in this topic and kind of books!

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Sabtu, 10 Januari 2015

[R360.Ebook] Fee Download Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life, by Mark Goulston

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Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life, by Mark Goulston

Let's face it: We all know people who are irrational. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what's the solution? How do you talk to someone who's out of control? What can you do with a boss who bullies, a spouse who yells, or a friend who frequently bursts into tears? In his book Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his bestselling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now, in his breakthrough new book Talking to Crazy, he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all―the downright irrational. As a psychiatrist, Goulston has seen his share of crazy, and he knows from experience that you can't simply argue it away. The key to handling irrational people is to learn to lean into the crazy―to empathize with it. That radically changes the dynamic and transforms you from a threat into an ally. Talking to Crazy explains this counterintuitive Sanity Cycle and reveals:

  • Why people act the way they do
  • How instinctive responses can exacerbate the situation and what to do instead
  • When to confront a problem and when to walk away
  • How to use a range of proven techniques including Time Travel, the Fish-bowl, and the Belly Roll
  • And much more

You can't reason with unreasonable people―but you can reach them. This powerful and practical book shows you how.

  • Sales Rank: #509834 in Books
  • Published on: 2016-01-12
  • Formats: Audiobook, MP3 Audio, Unabridged
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 6.75" h x .50" w x 5.25" l,
  • Running time: 7 Hours
  • Binding: MP3 CD

Review

“By giving readers the words and theories, Goulston elevates a good book into a great one.” --Success Magazine



“…most conflicts in the workplace simply involve very difficult people who can make life miserable. Talking to Crazy offers much-needed guidance for those seeking a solution to these all-too-common conflicts.” --Soundview



“This is a great book for managers who know that some situations--a negative review, the announcement of organizational change--can bring out the crazy in anyone.” --Inc.com



“…explains why people act in unreasonable ways, giving insight in to the brain’s natural defense mechanisms and how to recognize an irrational person’s modus operandi.” --Industrial Engineer Magazine



“How can you survive all the cranks and impossible people that you daily have to deal with? Goulston describes their antics and how to deal with them in this delightful self-help book.” --San Francisco Book Review



“Common-sense advice and humor offered by Goulston…sheds light on mental health issues that are not discussed (but definitely experienced) in everyday life, especially in the workplace.” --Small Business Trends



"Finally! The book that helps you deal with irrational, impossible people." --Oprah’s Book Club 2.0



“Psychiatrist and power-blogger Mark Goulston presents the gift of his latest book to anyone who has ever dealt with bullies, whiners, manipulators, or screamers. Oh, wait, that’s all of us.” --Associations Now



"Talking to Crazy is a captivating, accessible guide to the many forms of 'everyday crazy' we face at work and in our personal lives." --TD Magazine



"…we all deal with irrational people and situations. Talking to Crazy contains valuable insights into these types of interactions...an important addition to anyone’s library." --Banking Exchange



"You've met the bully, the manipulator, the victim, the know-it-all, the backstabber. Dealing with these personalities can drive you crazy—unless you employ Goulston's methods for dealing with them." --Jim Pawlak, Biz Books



Audiobook Review: "In this entertaining audiobook, author Mark Goulston has compiled decades of his experiences as a psychiatrist to show how even a layperson can communicate successfully with the irrational people in his or her life." --Audiofile Magazine



"My only regret about this book is that I did not read it sooner, when it would have been very helpful in dealing with some ‘crazy’ situations.” --Vancouver Business Journal



Earphones Award Winner from Audiofile Magazine



2016 Audie Award Finalist in Business/Educational



“I strongly recommend that you buy this book…you will find it infinitely useful, no matter what profession or life situation you are in.” --PCB007



"…can help our work and personal life be less stressful, more productive and possibly save someone from doing something violent to themselves or others." --School Administrator



“Guidebook to dealing with the impossible people that cross your path. His suggestions can be put to work immediately. I know because I did. And they work." --Skip Prichard's Leadership Insights

From the Inside Flap

Difficult people can make life hard, but a select few can make it hell. The boss with nonsensical demands. The spouse who explodes at nothing. The overly emotional coworker, hostile neighbor, or friend who frequently bursts into tears.

Marriages, families, friendships, careers, businesses—crazy people drag them all down with their manipulation, volatility, and inability to see the world rationally. You can’t win by just ignoring the craziness or trying to reason with it. But you can stop it cold.

Top-ranked psychiatrist and communication expert Mark Goulston shows you how in Talking to Crazy, a life-changing book for everyone trapped in personal or workplace relationships that feel confusing, stressful, or downright hopeless.

Goulston unlocks the mysteries of the irrational mind, and explains how faulty thinking patterns develop. His keen insights are matched by a set of counterintuitive strategies proven to defuse crazy behavior, along with scripts, examples, and exercises that teach you how to use them. You’ll learn how to:

• Activate the powerful Sanity Cycle—which changes you from a threat to an ally

• Gain more control of interactions by identifying the person’s modus operandi (their strategy for acting out and making you feel crazy)

• Lean into the person’s crazy—since being rational won’t work

• Neutralize your own crazy (we all have a little) and stay calm in any situation

• Deploy 14 simple, effective techniques for talking a person back to sanity, including assertive submission, flattery, the kiss-off, and more

• Use the 8 tactics that specifically target the behavior of partners, teenagers, aging parents, and other important people in your life

• Call in reinforcements when you’re facing a serious disorder

You shouldn’t have to suffer through people’s crazy behavior. When the weeping, condescension, whining, withdrawal, or attack-dog antics erupt, Talking to Crazy arms you with a psychiatrist’s perspective and potent communication tools for handling the problem. Almost instantly, you’ll transform difficult encounters into productive conversations and forge workable, even warm, relationships with people who once drove you nuts.

Mark Goulston, MD, is a top psychiatrist, consultant, coach, and business adviser. Author of the bestselling Just Listen and Get Out of Your Own Way as well as other popular books, he blogs for Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, Business Insider, Huffington Post, and Psychology Today; cohosts a weekly radio show; and is featured frequently in major media, including The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, CNN, Fox News, and the TODAY show.

From the Back Cover

“If I had known that “‘talking to crazy’” could be so simple, I wouldn't have driven myself crazy all these years trying to do it.”—Keith Ferrazzi, author, Never Eat Alone and Who's Got Your Back

“This book is life changing. A must-read for dealing with the uncooperative and stubborn people in your life.”—Marshall Goldsmith, author of the New York Times and global bestseller What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

“Dealing with the irrational and impossible people in our lives is an idea whose time has come—and not a moment too soon. Talking to Crazy is the playbook that will show you how.”—Peter Guber, CEO, Mandalay Entertainment, and author, #1 New York Times bestseller, Tell to Win

“Simply brilliant! As human beings we’re fully capable of rational thought—and yet every day we deal with people who seem to be behaving quite irrationally. Whether it’s in our personal life, our work environment, or during our day-to-day activities with the general public, all too often we talk to someone and find ourselves shaking our heads and thinking, ‘This person is crazy!’ But now, with this breakthrough book, Mark Goulston has given us the ultimate key to finally understanding how to make sense of the ‘crazy’ and effectively handle the irrational people in our lives. On behalf of the entire human race: Thank you, Mark!”—Ivan Misner, Ph.D., New York Times Bestselling Author and Founder of BNI®

Let’s face it, we all know people who are irrational. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what’s the solution? How do you talk to someone who’s out of control? What can you do with a spouse who yells, a teenager who locks himself behind slammed doors, a boss who humiliates, or a know-it-all who annoys you whenever he opens his mouth?

In his book Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his bestselling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. In Talking to Crazy, he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all: the irrational people.

As a psychiatrist, Goulston has seen his share of crazy. He knows that you can’t simply argue using facts, or tell someone irrational to calm down. When people are irrational, they can’t process that. Instead, the key is to lean into the “crazy”—to empathize with it. That radically changes the dynamic, instantly turning you from threat to ally. Talking to Crazy explains this counterintuitive process—the “Sanity Cycle”—and reveals:

• Why people act the way they do

• How instinctive responses can exacerbate a situation—and what to do instead

• How 9 common personality types act out their crazy

• When to confront a problem and when to walk away

• 22 techniques for halting irrational behavior, including Time Travel, the Fishbowl, the Belly Roll, the Split Second, and Coup Contrecoup

• And much more

You can’t reason with unreasonable people, but you can reach them. When meltdowns, hostility, intimidation, or other tactics of impossible people are making you crazy, use these powerful techniques to bring the behavior to a quick, merciful stop.

Most helpful customer reviews

65 of 66 people found the following review helpful.
How to manage “everyday craziness” whenever and wherever you encounter it
By Robert Morris
How to manage “everyday craziness” whenever and wherever you encounter it

As Mark Goulston explains, he experienced an epiphany years ago when he went to a meeting for estate planners who needed advice about helping families in crisis. "I expected the event to be a little dry, but instead, I was mesmerized. I found out that just like me, these people have to 'talk to crazy' every day. In fact, nearly every issue they discussed involved clients acting completely nuts...That's when it dawned on me that everyone -- including you -- has this problem. I'm betting that nearly every day, you deal with at least one irrational person...And that's what this book is all about: talking to crazy." That is, interacting with what he characterizes as "everyday crazy."

More specifically:

o They can’t see the world clearly.
o They say or think things that make no sense.
o They make decisions and take actions that aren’t in their best interests.
o They become downright impossible when you try to guide them back to the side of reason.

As I began to work my way through Goulston’s lively as well as eloquent narrative, I was again reminded of a scene in the Cheers television series when Frasier Crane, psychiatrist, patiently listens to Cliff Clavin, a mailman, babble on incoherently about the first Thanksgiving. "It took place between the ancient Egyptians and aliens from a distant galaxy." Eventually, Crane asks, "Cliff, what color is the sky in your world?" More recently, during the last holiday season at a party my wife and I attended, the host pointed out to several of us that very few penguins are left-handed. He was sober…and quite serious.

Goulston shares what he has learned about how to handle much more serious situations, situations that have potentially significant consequences if not resolved. "Maybe it's a boss who wants the impossible. Maybe it's a demanding parent or a hostile teen or a manipulative coworker or a neighbor who's always in your face." At one time or another, most people have encountered -- in an everyday situation -- a spouse or friend who screams at them, a child who says "I hate you" or "I hate myself," an aging parent who says "You don't care about me," someone at work who has a meltdown, and/or a supervisor who is a bully. These really are difficult situations that can be made even worse by an inappropriate response.

These are among the several dozen passages of greatest interest and value to me, also listed to suggest the scope of Goulston’s coverage:

o The Secret: Leaning into the Crazy (Pages 5-7)
o The Sanity Cycle (9-10)
o The Science Behind Crazy, and, Three Pathways to Crazy People (26-28)
o A Warning About Personality Disorders (37-41)
o Triangle/Silo/Triangle (58-59)
o The Eight-Step Pause (63-65)
o The "Oh F#@& to OK" Speed Drill (68-69)

In Sections 3-5 (Chapters 8-33), Goulston then focuses on

o Fourteen Tactics for Talking to Crazy (75-163)
o Eight Ways to Deal with Crazy in Your Personal Life (165-210)
o What to Do When Crazy Is Actually Mental Illness (211-252)

One of Goulston’s most valuable insights stresses the importance of following a process that is easy to chart but for most of us, very difficult to follow: “The Sanity Cycle”:

1. Recognize that the person you’re dealing with is unwilling and/or unable to think rationally/be reasonable in the current situation.

2. Identify that person’s mo0dus operandi – the specific ways(s) that person acts out their craziness.

3. Don’t take the craziness personally. Realize that it isn’t about you. Rather, it’s all about the person who is obviously very upset and probably angry.

4. Talk with the irrational person, leaning into the craziness by entering the other person’s world calmly and with an intention to be helpful.

NOTE: All of the major research studies (at least of which I am aware) indicate that during a face-to-face interaction, about 80% of impact is determined by tone o0f voice and body language; only about 20% (if that) is determined by what is said.

5. Demonstrate your good will, that you are an ally rather than a threat, by listening calmly and empathetically but NOT, I presume to add, in a way that could be taken as condescendingly as the person vents. Make eye contact and listen with attention and (yes) patience as well as purpose.

6. Help to guide the person to a more rational way of thinking. By letting off steam, they may calm down and appreciate the fact that you care and want to be helpful. These are the whats of the cycle. Goulston thoroughly explains the HOW of each of them.

“The majority of the techniques I teach in this book follow these steps (although there are variations, and you’ll sometimes veer completely off this path when you’re dealing with bullies, manipulators, or sociopaths). That’s because the Sanity Cycle is powerful magic.”

Mark Goulston is determined to do all he can to "heal the world one conversation at a time" and hopes that everyone who reads this book will be well-prepared as well as sufficiently courageous to "help make that dream come true."

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful.
A Powerful Tool for Dealing With Problem People
By John Chancellor
While reading this book I recalled the short poem of Ogden Nash, “One would be in less danger from the wiles of a stranger, If one’s own kin and kith were more fun to be with.” It is a fact of life that at times some of our closest relations are just not fun to be with. You might say they are a bit crazy and tend to drive us in the same direction. If you have people in your life that at times act irrational, that you find impossible to deal with, then this book will definitely help out.

Dr. Mark Goulston, author of Talking to Crazy, is a psychiatrist who has devoted his professional life to listening to and talking to crazy. The book primarily gives guidance for dealing with the garden variety of crazy – the crazy you encounter with your relationship partner, your co-worker or your children or parents. But he does devote a section to dealing with the more serious mental issues and when you need to enlist the help of a professional.

The book is divided into five sections. In Section One, Dr. Goulston introduces the basic concepts of Talking to Crazy. In Section Two he invites the reader to face their own crazy – to do a little self-examination and understand how they may be contributing to the crazy of the other person(s). Section Three contains fourteen different tactics for Talking to Crazy. Section Four gets more specific and brings the Crazy down to the personal relationship level. Section Five covers how to recognize the need for professional help, the different levels of help, how to research and select a provider and how to get the person to actively engage with the process.

Dr. Goulston writes in a very engaging style. The book is fascinating to read because it presents so many real life situations – many of which most readers will be able to relate to. Dr. Goulston give enough of the psychology to help you understand the tactic but never too much to slow down or bore the reader.

At the end of each chapter is a "Usable Insight" - a short insight into what was covered in that chapter. Two of my favorite insights were:
"When you look into people's eyes with the sole purpose of understanding them instead of judging or maneuvering them, they no longer have a reason to keep their guard up." And "What you tell a person is less important than what you enable the person to tell you."

The tactics are well thought out and have been tested and proven many times in the author’s own work. While this is a quick and easy read, I doubt that you will be able to implement any of the tactics after the first read. I can say that I got a much better understanding of some people’s behavior from reading the book. But to put any of the concepts into practice will take a lot of study and a few “dry runs”.

I do believe that you can gradually begin to implement the lessons from Dr. Goulston and quickly see improvement in your relationships. But some of the hard core crazy will take a lot of work. Just go back and study the concepts and continue working.

I’ve recommended this book to dozens of people. Very worthwhile reading.

I was provided a review copy of this book.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
Maybe the irrational person isn't so irrational after all
By Russell Bishop
We all know what it is to try and deal with the irrational person. The challenge is that the irrational person never views him or her self as irrational. Mark gives some great advice in this book, something that seems akin to playing Aikido with the irrational person. Rather than fight or argue, simply lean in, match who they are and redirect the energy into something more useful. In an odd way, its a bit like becoming their partner in order to help them learn a more effective way.

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